“What happens when you fall in love? Helen Fisher says it begins when someone takes on special meaning. “The world has a new center,” she says, “then you focus on him or her. Your beloved’s car is different from every other car in the parking lot, for example. People can list what they don’t like about their sweetheart, but they sweep these things aside and focus on what they adore. Intense energy, elation, mood swings, emotional dependence, separation anxiety, possessiveness, a pounding heart and craving are all central to this madness. But most important is obsessive thinking.” As Fisher says, “Someone is camping in your head.””—
Oh btw I went to this the other night (tuesday) at the NY Academy of Sciences - my friend Lauren works there and invited me. It was super interesting! Fisher’s lecture was divided into two parts - background on her MRI mapping of the brains of those in love, and research findings from her data as head of research at Chemistry.com. Both parts were awesome and could have made their own lectures. There was a lot of good fodder here, and gave me some really interesting new ways of thinking about love. The two parts that we don’t think about enough: timing and choice. And, actually, TIMING. There is a decent talk about choice, but I am finding the function of Timing in love to be a really interesting, vastly under-discussed area.
“A lot of people telling me, since I quit from basketball, a lot of people telling me that I was as good as this, good as that. I didn’t look at myself that way. I get so many praises now. I didn’t know I was decent. I thought I was just an average player. They’re telling me I was more than average, they said I was a statement. That was a great comment, to hear that from people because I just took it as an everyday job and went to work… I was always myself, never looked for someone to give me a handout, just did it. A lot of people can’t go out with someone praising them. I wasn’t like that. I just went out and had fun, I had a good time, went everywhere, didn’t worry about this and that happening.”—